13 Reasons Why - D&M

I've just finished watching! I really need to vent this while it's fresh in mind...

Wow. What an incredibly important, poignant & necessary story to tell. And told so well, I was impressed. 

It's been a while since a story has pulled me in so completely, and I have felt connected to at so many points in the story arc. It could've gone so wrong in so many places, could have been all cheese, could have gotten really cliché and unrealistic. But I believe it was done perfectly.

I'll skip the teen angst portion, but I have to bring up a significant topic running deep in the root of the show, and what was most apparent to me - life.

A reminder that all action has consequence. Those seemingly insignificant choices we make that ripple into the wider ocean. Good, bad and ugly. A cross-section view on the layers that impact life, and underpin the every day. 

Each of the 13 reasons or events represent someone or something we can all relate to at some capacity. We see here a microscope on teenage life, but those of us long removed can still see parallels in our adult lives - we look back and remember what those days were like for us; remind ourselves of the things that made us who we are today; we look forward and see what we could be avoided; and we look presently at how we act. What we do. The decisions we make that alter our paths.

Common decency, helping one another, integrity, standing up for our peers, honesty, being brave enough to truly be ourselves. We live our adolescence striving to fulfil these; some of us still reaching, even now.

When we learn of Alex's condition at the very end, it's a reminder that while the truth did come out eventually for Hannah, the negative cycle still continues. Increasingly frustrated the lack of change, he took extreme measures. The actions of others in various points of the show, including those of his dad & himself caused Alex to fall into a similar spiral that led Hannah to her death. And it's up to us to break the cycle. To know better now. To do better for others. To be better.

A lot of people aren't happy with the ending, calling for more. While I would like to see what happened to everyone & the continuing ripple effect that followed her tapes being released, I'm actually pretty satisfied how it did end. 

I know Alex's end was a call to action for major change to the cycle. The 'friends', little by little facing up to the fact their actions had a butterfly effect gave us *some* satisfaction (except Marcus. I didn't feel like he even owned up to what he did. What a jerk lol). I'm glad Hannah's parents got the tapes and were able to understand what happened in some way. I know justice would've been served to Bryce after the confession was heard. 

I think it was a nice way to end the show, to leave it open. To let us take the reigns, to decide what happened and what lessons to take from it - much like the reigns we take and the choices we make in life itself. 

I also listened to the S-Town podcast last week, and the ideology remains the same. 

Amongst the self-entitled lives people are living these days, in a time where keyboard warriors are fearless, and in this disposable society, this type of show and content is so needed.

It costs nothing to be a decent human, to at least try to be there for other people, to really strive for meaningful connections. To make the most of every day, in a positive and enlightening way. Let's hope people listen.

J x 

You Deserve It - D&M

There's this reoccurring trend I've been seeing a lot lately, and it made me think pretty hard about the last 9 months of my life.

We all know Facebook can be a plethora of whingeing, but every so often I will see a post dedicated to expressing pride in recognition of a self-achievement.

The only catch is that those posts are, more often than not, accompanied with a statement apologising for the post. Apologising under the notion that it's not okay to be proud of oneself. That it's not okay to share an achievement with our friends & family, without feeling a little braggy and guilty.

"I'm sorry for boring anyone by posting these updates, but after a long 6 months and hard work, I've lost XXkg and I'm really proud of myself"

I will admit that I have done this in the past - but the more I think about it, the more I question the need for apologetic sentiment.

Granted that it's not hurting anyone/thing else, we are all allowed to be proud of our achievements, however big or small. You worked hard for it? GIRL - own it. 

There should not be a nagging feeling of anxiety when we celebrate our positive successes. We should feel comfortable to tell our nearest and dearest the details with excitement and pride, sans guilt. If you put your time, effort and dedication into something, you should feel the freedom to express your self-worth. And further to that, you should not feel ashamed about any positive opportunities and/or rewards that come your way as a result of it.

As the old saying goes:

Source: Google

So what does this have to do with me?

After having these thoughts, I cast my mind to my most recent achievements. Small things that mean so little to others, but so much to me. I got presented with a great opportunity at work; I overcame some personal baggage; I've stepped out of my comfort zone, aimed higher and rose above challenging situations that normally I would have caved under.

So many small wins for myself as a person, so much growth in 9 months time.

And I realised, I am proud of myself.

I worked hard, and though it's not anything major, I am proud of my career opportunity.

It was a massive learning curve for me, and I am proud of gaining the ability to remove toxic people from my life.

It has been a tumultuous roller coaster of emotions over these months, but I am proud of how far I have come, how I've handled situations, and how many times I stepped out of my comfort zone. Deciding to be a better person has allowed for peace of mind.

And through achieving all of these things, the positive ramifications flowed through.

And not only has life rewarded me - I also made a point to reward myself.

Meet my new baby, Alfie (Sony Alpha 5100 or a5100):

In depth info on the Sony Alpha mirror-less range can be found here and here :)

I had hesitations for such an extravagant purchase, but after some careful consideration, I decided to own my achievements. To acknowledge my self-worth, to be excited about my accomplishments, and reward myself for the personal milestones I have reached.

You know what? It's okay to be proud of yourself. It's okay to treat yourself. If it's within reason for you, it's okay to reward yourself for how far you've come. 

Just got into a new relationship after conquering singledom? Be proud.

Got a promotion at your job? Be proud.

Took the first steps for a fresh start? Be proud.

I'm all for supporting each other, lifting each other up, spreading kindness and light, and celebrating each other's happiness.

It's okay to acknowledge you've done something great - get rid of the apologies, say it loud and proud, and go ahead and treat yourself - I felt like I deserved it, and guess what? So do you.

Source: Google

J x

Bittersweet - D&M

Source

Tumultuous times can bring the biggest lessons.

We don't often understand why events occur, or we don't want to.

I feel like there is so much noise and clutter that results when something tough happens, and we can get so overwhelmed with emotions. Whether you experience anxiety or not, it is never easy to make sense of the cards life deals us, alone.

I'm lucky. I have a select few people in my life that will force me to see things in a different perspective. Even when I don't want to. Even when it seems impossible.
They take my mess, and help me find a meaning for why the mess occurred. 

Life isn't always fair. There are so many things we wish we could change. But I'm grateful for the people that show me that hope exists, regardless of the extremity of mess. Regardless of how impossible the situation. You cannot replace the level of care it takes to do that for a person, and I will never take it for granted.


One of the things I have learnt the hard way recently:
We cannot shut people out.
If you're on a train, never let someone ride with you, unless you intend on explaining the sights along the way. Talk about it. Regardless of how daunting the mess is outside the window, be open to communication.
And if you decide to get off, do not leave that person on that train without an explanation. Don't wait until it's too late.

And, harder still, this:
Relationships - romantic, friendly or a simple interaction - exist for one of two reasons:
To fulfil you. Or to teach you.
Whether you win, and ultimately get what you wanted.
Or you lose, and are left to sort through the mess & find meaning for it.
As hard as it is to accept, "to love and to lose" is the next best thing.

People come into your life for a reason. I have always hated this saying. When mess occurs, you hear it from anyone and everyone. It becomes hard to believe.
I still struggle, but it is something I am slowly learning to accept, with help from people that care.
No matter how messy the situation, there is something to be learnt from all who come and go.
A bittersweet exchange.

Whether it's to remind you not to make the same mistakes over again, whether it's to show you that you are worth more than you thought, or whether it's to help you realise how you should be treated.
Whatever it is, the next best thing to fulfilment, the next best thing to winning, is a lesson learnt.


To those without people to push them to find silver linings in life-mess, I say this:
You are not alone. Take what you can from what you've got.
Even if you find one small, seemingly insignificant lesson from the situation, take it. Be grateful for it. Grow from it. Let it influence you, teach you, and give you strength.
Let it be a reminder that your story isn't over yet.

J x

Changes and Endings - D&M

"Everything’s magical when its snows, everything looks pretty. The clothes are great. Coats, scarves, gloves, hats...Do you know the best things in my life have happened when it snowed?...I feel good. Tingly...

When I was five, I had a really bad ear infection and I had been home in bed for a week and I was very sad. So I wished really hard that something wonderful would happen to me. And I woke up the next morning and it had snowed. And I was sure that some fairy godmother had done it just for me. It was my little present.
Of course, many years later, I realized that logically, the snow was not there for me personally. But, still, when it snows, something inside me says, ‘hey that’s your present.’ I don’t think it’ll ever change" - Lorelai Gilmore

Though it doesn't snow in QLD, I've always felt I could relate to what Lorelai was saying.
I've always looked forward to the shift in weather, not only for the obvious more desirable climate and better fashion options, but because of the promise of positive change.
Change can be scary. I am not a fan of change. But I feel like Winter has so many positive associations with it, that over the years, it has become a marker for when my life is going to go into reboot. A positive reboot.
For everyone else, New Years is when this occurs... not for me. 

The day I wake up and feel the distinct chill in the air, the smell of the cooler morning, I know it's time.
It's not quite Winter yet, but the change has started.

I went for my usual afternoon walk yesterday, and this is what I saw:

The beauty of a Winter sunset is unlike any other during the year. There is something special about that sky when it gets colder. It's like the universe is showing you that it's ready for change, and it's giving you a little sneak peek.
This moment, right here, where the sun is just about gone. Where there are slivers of light fighting through the clouds. Where colour explodes and beauty takes over.
It is one of my most favourite moments in life, ever. The late afternoon, my most favourite time of day, coupled with one hell of a cold-day-sunset. I feel good. Tingly.

I take this as a sign from the universe, that change is coming.

The sunset is of course an end to a day, and the cooler temperature I woke up to is an end to Summer. But there's more to it, for me.

It's the world giving me my own little present.
Showing me that there can be an end to whatever negative things I want to leave behind. That good things can, and are, to come.
Just when I think I cannot handle any more, just when things start piling up and I begin to get overwhelmed, the universe is sending me a present to remind me not to give up. To breathe. That hope exists.
To let go of the things/people getting me down, and that there are things/people to look forward to in the future.
The end of the bad, The change to good.
My positive reboot.
 
So thanks, Universe, for my present. It could not have come at a better time.

J x

Sydney - March 2015

  [Photoset 16.03.2015]

 "The purpose of life, after all, is to live it.
To taste experience to the utmost,

To reach out eagerly and without fear,

For newer & richer experience"

Eleanor Roosevelt

 -PIER ONE SYDNEY HARBOUR-

 

-SYDNEY-

 

 -BONDI BEACH & ICEBERGS-

 -DARLING HARBOUR, PYRMONT BRIDGE FIREWORKS, GELATO MESSINA-

 

 -TARONGA ZOO, N2 GELATO-

 In Omnia Paratus...